


Someone to Rely On

by LyriaBlackFrost



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Insecurity, Light-Hearted, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 15:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17942336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriaBlackFrost/pseuds/LyriaBlackFrost
Summary: Before Mishima knew it, Ryuji had become someone special to him.





	Someone to Rely On

Mishima never said it out loud, but he considered Ryuji his closest friend.

Even at Mishima’s worse moments, when he thought he didn’t have anyone to lean on to, Ryuji was there for him, offering support in the form of countless ways to keep Mishima distracted from his own self-loathing, of which he was more grateful than he could ever express with words. Maybe because he also understood how, sometimes, it was too hard and painful to open yourself up to others, but he never tried to make Mishima talk.

“ _I’m here, if you ever need someone.”_

Those had been his words, at the time he witnessed Mishima having a breakdown during lunchtime. It had been pathetic, and embarrassing in many ways, but Ryuji kept his distance. He didn’t try to talk, only stayed there, waiting for him to calm down, and then offered him half of his yakisoba bread.

That gesture could seem small, but, since then, Mishima started to see him in a different way. Not as a “troublesome punk”, as the teachers and students called, or a “silly, funny guy”, as Mishima himself came to think of him. Instead, he began to see him as a person who cared a lot, and felt a lot, and, despite not always making it clear with his loud voice and louder personality, truly wanted to help those around him.

If anything, that made Mishima want to get closer to him. Know more about that — apparently — always bright and friendly person who made him feel so… Accepted. Safe.

So, he did. First by seeking him during lunch time, then, by asking him to hang out after class. Part of him expected to be rejected, but, instead, Ryuji was more than happy to accompany him to whatever place he came up with at the last minute, talking and playing with him like an old friend, and scolding him whenever he turned his attention to the phan-site.

“You need to live outside this site, dude…” he complained, taking Mishima’s phone and placing it in his own pocket.

“But I—”

Before Mishima could complain, he felt a light kick under the table.

“Just listen to me and eat your burger,” added Ryuji.

Mishima twisted his lips, but didn’t argue, taking his hamburger and giving it a big, spiteful bite, without breaking eye-contact. It made Ryuji chuckle.

“Dude, you’re cute…”

He said that so naturally that Mishima’s brain needed a second to process what he had just heard. And then, he choked.

“Hey…!”

In a second, Ryuji was beside him, offering him his cup of soda. Mishima took a few sips, soon being able to breathe again. Next to him, Ryuji stared at his face, half worried, half laughing.

“That’s what you get for taking a bite bigger than your mouth,” he said. “You okay, dude?”

“Yes…”

No, he wasn’t okay! He was cute! No, wait… He wasn’t cute either. Ryuji was the one who said that, out of nowhere! No, that couldn’t be right, either…

His brain was short-circuiting.

“Wow, your face is all red…” commented Ryuji with a light frown. “You sure you feelin’ alright?”

“Yes!” he answered, forcing a wide smile. “I’m perfectly fine! And how are you?”

He immediately felt the urge to slap himself. He hoped for a second that Ryuji hadn’t heard his last few words, but his laughter proved the contrary.

“I’m dying…” he said, hugging his own stomach. “And it’s your fault.”

Mishima groaned, burying his face on both hands. He felt his whole face burning, and didn’t have the courage to look at Ryuji, or at anyone who could be staring at them. It didn’t take long, however, for him to feel a pair of hands on his wrists, carefully moving his hands away from his face. He risked opening his eyes, seeing Ryuji’s face close to his.

“Hey, no hiddin’ yourself in your cocoon around me,” he said. “We talked about this, haven’t we?”

Yes, they did… Or at least Ryuji had told him not to feel so self-conscious around him, after more than a few of his tragic slip-ups.

“But it’s embarrassing…” muttered Mishima, averting his gaze.

Ryuji let go of Mishima’s wrists, but still had his eyes on him.

“You ever looked at me?” he asked. “I’m surprised you’re not more embarrassed of being around a punk like me than anything else.”

Despite his words, Ryuji still sounded confident. Actually, no matter how much people bad-mouthed him, he still managed to keep that attitude, as if nothing could get to him. Mishima showed a light, slightly sad smile.

“To be honest, I wish I was more like you,” he admitted.

His words made Ryuji furrow his brow.

“Why the hell?” he asked.

His genuinely surprised reaction almost made Mishima laugh.

“I don’t know how to explain it…” he made a brief pause, pressing his lips together. “You’re not afraid of saying what’s on your mind, or of what others will think of you. You’re just… You. You never try to be anyone else.”

“And do you?”

The question caught him by surprise, making him lower his eyes again as he nodded.

“All the time,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because people would hate me, otherwise.”

His answer was followed by a brief silence.

“Do you do that when you’re with me?” asked Ryuji, finally.

“What?” Mishima stared at him, quickly raising his hands, gesticulating in denial. “No… I don’t!”

“See?”

Ryuji placed an arm around Mishima’s shoulders.

“I still like you this way.”

Mishima opened his mouth, but didn’t find an answer.

“You’re fun to be around, and I like talking to you,” Ryuji proceeded. “The only problem I have is making you understand it.”

He looked at Ryuji, who let out a low sigh.

“I just wanna be your friend, y’know?” he said. “But sometimes I just don’t know if I’m doing it right.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I don’t know…” Ryuji averted his gaze. “I’m kinda slow, so I never know when I’m annoyin’ people, or going too far with a joke and making them uncomfortable, ‘n all that. Even Akira and Ann get fed up with me sometimes.”

“I don’t think they really mean it, though.”

“Who knows…” Ryuji shrugged. “But it still worries me.”

Mishima looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. It took Ryuji quite some time to speak again.

“Y’know… I’m always scared of hurting the people around me.”

The mere suggestion of that sounded absurd to Mishima.

“You’d never hurt someone,” he said.

Ryuji offered him a light, forced smile.

“Good you think so.”

He felt like, if his life was an RPG, he had just chosen the wrong answer in a dialogue. His mind started to race as he tried to think of a way to fix the situation.

“What I meant is…” _Crap_ , he was stuttering… “You make me feel better about myself. And I’m sure your friends feel the same way. You… You’re a good person, so… I don’t know why you think these things, but… I know you wouldn’t _choose_ to hurt someone, at least.

“Yeah…”

Ryuji had his eyes fixed on the table, lips slightly twisted, seeming lost in thought. Was that still bad? What else could he say?

“Ryuji…” proceeded Mishima. “I know I’m not good at this, but… I don’t think… What I want to say is…”

He struggled with the words. Ryuji looked at him.

“It’s okay, dude,” he said. “I was the one who said somethin’ weird outta nowhere.”

“No, I mean…”

Mishima took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind before proceeding.

“I know how it feels to think bad things about yourself, and… Many times, it feels easier to just believe them, instead of trying to change your mind. You… You told me not to be so insecure, and I didn’t really try to change it.”

He averted his gaze, bitting the inside of his lip, talking in a lower voice.

“But it bothers me to think that you’re thinking bad things about yourself, so… If I can’t change your mind, then at least I want to help you feel a little better, like you always did for me.”

He looked again at Ryuji, who was staring at him. Oh no… Did he talk too much?

“I… I hope I’m not going too far,” he said.

“No, you’re not.”

Ryuji offered him a smile, and Mishima sighed in relief: the last thing he wanted was to say something stupid and worsen the situation. Without a warning, Ryuji placed an arm around his neck pulling him close.

“Thanks,” he said.

“But I didn’t do anything…”

“You did,” corrected Ryuji with a low chuckle. “You made me realize I’m acting just like you.”

His words made Mishima stare at him.

“What?”

As an answer, Ryuji offered him a wide, playful smile, before getting a little closer, resting his chin on Mishima’s head.

“For real, though…” he proceeded in an amused voice. “We’re both kinda dumb, aren’t we?”

Mishima smiled to himself at that implication.

“I guess we are.”

He heard Ryuji’s laugh, followed by a moment of silence.

“I really like you, y’know?” said Ryuji.

_Great_ … Now his face was burning again.

“Don’t say that…” complained Mishima, moving away from him.

“My bad,” said Ryuji, raising both hands in a gesture of peace, “don’t get in cocoon mode again.”

Mishima glared at him, making Ryuji tilt his head a little, furrowing his brow.

“C’mon, man…” he said. “Is it that bad when I say stuff like this?”

“It’s embarrassing…” admitted Mishima.

“Okay, okay… I get it.”

Ryuji sighed, reaching for Mishima’s fries, taking one and eating it.

“Hey…!” complained Mishima, pulling his tray away from Ryuji.

“Payment for not letting me express my affection,” answered Ryuji with a fake annoyed voice.

“Sakamoto…”

Ryuji smiled with the corner of his lips. Mishima had noticed that small details before: his smiles always started on the right side, especially when he was teasing him, like in that moment.

“Don’t worry,” said Ryuji, “I’ll stop now.”

Mishima narrowed his eyes at him.

“You won’t,” he said.

“Wow…” Ryuji widened his eyes in fake shock. “Is my word worth nothin’ to you?”

“You really want me to answer?”

“C’mon, you make me sound like a jerk.”

“It’s your own fault.”

Ryuji groaned, leaning forward, until his chin was resting over the table.

“Ugh… So mean,” he muttered.

Mishima raised his brow at him.

“Why am I the mean one?” he asked.

“Meanshima…”

“Shut up!”

But that ridiculous pun made him giggle. Ryuji turned his head, and Mishima felt his eyes on him for a moment. He didn’t look at him, however, focusing on his cup of soda. Ryuji reached for his own tray, also focusing on finishing his meal. But he didn’t go back to his previous seat, staying by Mishima’s side, and, as silly as it could sound, it made him feel a little restless, but also strangely content.

They finished eating a little later, spending some time together until it started to get dark, then walked together back to the station, making some light conversation. But what Ryuji had said to him before was still on Mishima’s mind, and he struggled with himself to decide what to do in response to that. They were getting closer to the station, and, if he didn’t say something soon, he would lose his chance. With a deep breath, Mishima stopped walking, making Ryuji stop a little later, looking at him with some confusion.

“You okay?” he asked.

No, he wasn’t. But now was too late to go back.

“Sakamoto…” he said.

“Yeah?”

_Words_ … Where were the words? He couldn’t just freeze at a moment like that. Another deep breath, before he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“I really like you too.”

He regretted his words as soon as he said them, not because they weren’t true, but the contrary: he liked Ryuji way too much, and saying it out loud just made such a thing seem even more real.

Ryuji didn’t answer. He had his eyes on Mishima, who couldn’t find the courage to meet his gaze and see what his expression was. He felt the anxiety growing in his chest again.

“I just…” Mishima’s voice was low. “Thought you should know…”

A few more seconds of silence, and Mishima was sure he was going to pass out at any moment from the anticipation alone, when Ryuji finally said something.

“And by ‘like’, you mean like a friend?”

His voice was serious… Too serious. Was he angry? Or maybe disgusted by the idea of someone like Mishima having those feelings for him? Either way, things were going terrible…

“Well, yeah…” said Mishima, forcing a smile, as he felt his face and neck burning. “I mean… Of course! We’re friends, right…? What else would we be?”

_Oh, shit_ … He was panicking. He risked looking at Ryuji, who was looking away from him, covering his own mouth with a thoughtful expression. He was usually easy to read, but, at that moment, Mishima had no idea what was going through his head. He tried to find something else to say, to excuse his previous words, but before he could, Ryuji looked at him again. Maybe it was Mishima’s imagination, but he seemed nervous.

“Hey…” said Ryuji. “If I kissed you right now, how would you feel about it?”

He was so surprised at that question, that he couldn’t even react to it. Instead of panicking even more, as he would have expected, everything around him seemed to be in slow-motion. His thoughts ran on his mind, and he found it difficult to focus on any of them.

“Why are you asking me something like that?” he asked Ryuji.

Ryuji didn’t answer for a moment, just observing him, as if trying to read his mind. After a while, he sighed, looking away again.

“My bad…” he said. “That sounded kinda weird, didn’t it?”

Mishima felt a bitter disappointment in his chest. Ryuji placed the hands in his pockets, and, suddenly, he widened his eyes.

“Ah, that’s right…” he said, taking Mishima’s phone from there, offering it back to him with a light smile. “Here, I almost forgot to give it back to you. Just don’t spend the whole night working on the site, okay?”

Mishima took the phone, looking at it for a moment, his mind far away.

“It wouldn’t be bad…” he said.

“What?” asked Ryuji, frowning. “Spending the whole night awake?”

He shook his head.

“If you kissed me.”

If things seemed to be in slow motion before, now they seemed frozen. His eyes met Ryuji’s, and he was sure his heart was about to break out of his chest. He let out a nervous laugh, lowering his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean that I—”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because, in the next moment, Ryuji’s hand cupped his face, his lips softly covering his. It didn’t last for more than a few seconds, but even after Ryuji moved away, Mishima still couldn’t believe it had actually happened. The feeling of a thumb caressing his cheek was what brought him back to reality, and to that person so close to him.

“I didn’t get it wrong, did I?” asked Ryuji.

“You didn’t.”

The words left his mouth before he could think about them, and maybe it was for the best. Ryuji’s face relaxed as he let out his breath.

“Damn, I was almost dying here…” he muttered. “I think your anxiety is contagious.”

“Hey!”

Mishima pouted, and it made Ryuji chuckle, before kissing him again. His arms hugged Mishima’s waist, and Mishima embraced him back, part of him still in disbelief, but the other — that grew stronger each second — just wanted to relax in Ryuji’s arms and enjoy his pleasant warmth.

When they broke the kiss, Mishima opened his eyes, looking at Ryuji, who had a big, almost goofy smile on his face.

“What are you smiling for?” he asked in an amused voice.

“Wanna guess?”

“Don’t be stupid…”

Ryuji pulled him closer, and Mishima didn’t try to move away, leaning against him, resting his head against his chest.

“Now I don’t wanna go home anymore…” complained Ryuji.

Mishima shared that feeling, but decided to be the rational one.

“We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

“Yeah…”

Ryuji kissed his forehead, resting the chin on the top of his head.

“Yuuki,” he said in a soft tone, close to a whisper.

His voice made what seemed to be a wave of electricity run through Mishima’s body.

“Don’t say that all of a sudden!” he said, burying his face on Ryuji’s chest. “Do you want to give me a heart attack?”

Ryuji laughed.

“My bad… I just like your name.”

“Idiot…”

Mishima closed his eyes, and, despite all the embarrassment, he still felt peaceful inside.

“Ryuji,” he muttered, as a light smile took his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I... love them. Sweet boys... deserve the world...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic, kudos and comments are highly appreciated! ♥


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